What has she got that I haven’t got?

Ever found yourself asking that very question? Be honest, of course you have.

We’ve all seen drop-dead hunky guys with, well, women who look like a lip wax might do them good. Hey, even if they’re not Johnny Depp gorgeous at least SHE has someone hanging on her arm and we, well we sometimes don’t. But even if you’re not looking, even if you’re happily married to the same guy for a million years, check this out. For those of you who are so paranoid that you think there’s some secret to winning and KEEPING a man that you don’t know about — relax. You’re not paranoid. You’re 100% right. There IS a secret.

No, it’s not money, and you don’t have to turn yourself into a breast bearing bar fly. I mean would you really even want a guy who was interested in your bank balance or your less-than-perfect morals? That might be OK for overnight romances, but it’s not the ticket to long-term happiness. No, you need something different. Something that 80% or more of the women in the world don’t have. You need a secret weapon that thousands of women use every day to make men desire them constantly. That’s CONSTANTLY. Even when monthly excess water weight gets in the way.

So what’s the secret? It’s the secret of how to be the best lover he has EVER had. You don’t have to be the prettiest lover he ever had, and you don’t have to be the thinnest. You simply have to be the best.

“Oh sure” I hear you saying; “I’ll just run out and go to undercover lover school and learn all of the inside secrets of being the best lover he ever had.” Well, if that’s what you’re saying, you’re on the right track. The only thing different is that you don’t have to go OUT to learn it. You can learn it right in the privacy of your home.

I’m going to let you in on a secret. I’m qualified to let you in on this because I’ve already been to undercover lover school and, yes, if you saw my guy with me you’d be asking “What has she got that I haven’t got?” because I’m not the prettiest flower in the vase. I’m not mirror-shattering, mind you, but average is a word I hear often.

Anyway, on to the secret. There are things that you can learn to do in bed that will absolutely send your partner through the ceiling in an explosion of hot steamy lust. Got that? HOT STEAMY LUST. Not “dirty” things, we’re not talking about losing our dignity here. We’re talking about genuine passion-building, slam his heart out his back, lip-locking, jumpin’ and shoutin’, yee haw passion! The wild kind that they dream about. The kind that they read Penthouse Forum for just to fanaticise that it’s them who is writing about what happened in bed last night.

And let me tell you something else. If you’re NOT doing these things for your man then I can virtually guarantee that he’s laying there dreaming about you (or someone else) doing it while you’re busy doing whatever it is that is failing to get his full attention (and maybe some other things that aren’t “full” either).

So listen up girls. If it’s been a while since you were able to use the words “yee haw” and “sex” in the same sentence, get yourself over to undercover lover school right now before he hooks up with some chick whose been there. And on this subject I have no more to say.